How to Focus on What You Can Control and Influence
Feeling overwhelmed by everything outside your control?
You're not alone. The key to reducing stress, improving decision-making, and leading effectively is to consciously shift your focus towards what you can control and influence.
In his bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey outlines a powerful concept: the Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence, and Circle of Control. This simple framework helps us distinguish where our energy is most effectively spent.
Understanding the Three Circles
1. Circle of Concern
This includes everything that you care about or worry over global issues, your children’s future, work politics, economic shifts. It's often full of things we can’t directly influence.
2. Circle of Influence
This refers to the aspects you can affect through your behaviour, words, or choices. For example:
Influencing a colleague by how you communicate
Encouraging a family member to apply for a new job
Shaping your team’s culture through leadership style
You can’t control others, but your actions can influence outcomes.
3. Circle of Control
This is your power zone, your decisions, responses, attitudes, and actions. It includes:
How you spend your time
How you manage your energy and priorities
What you say yes or no to
Focusing here increases your sense of agency and decreases unnecessary stress.
Applying the Model in Real Life
When I first learned this concept during my Participatory Leadership training in Cork, I didn’t realise how practical it would become. Today, it’s one of the tools I use most in leadership coaching and professional supervision.
Here's a reflective activity to help you apply it:
Step-by-Step:
Draw three concentric circles on a sheet of paper.
List your current concerns inside the outermost circle (Concern).
Place what you can influence into the middle circle (Influence).
Put what’s within your full control in the innermost circle (Control).
Reflect:
How are you currently using your energy?
Are you trying to control what you can only influence?
Are you holding onto what’s truly outside your reach?
This clarity allows you to focus your efforts where they’ll make the most difference.
“Not everything that weighs you down is yours to carry.”
Leadership, Wellbeing, and Control
In leadership, this framework helps avoid burnout. Trying to control what lies outside your control other people’s behaviours, external pressures, or systemic issues can deplete your energy and damage relationships.
Focusing on your circle of control leads to:
More sustainable action
Greater clarity in decision-making
Healthier boundaries
Meanwhile, using your influence wisely can strengthen relationships and improve outcomes without resorting to micromanagement.
Let Go of What You Can't Control
Part of developing resilient leadership is being willing to acknowledge what you can’t change and letting it go. This is easier said than done but it’s essential if you want to lead with integrity and effectiveness.
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means accepting reality and choosing where to invest your energy wisely.
Reflective Questions for Leaders
Where are you spending energy right now that isn’t within your control?
How can you strengthen your influence instead?
What’s one thing entirely within your control that you could take action on today?